- my stock account... hugely underused.So what do you do if you are incredibly depressed but know that it's all because of situation? A billion hours talking to a therapist will not help .. it's not got anything to do with my past or family. Drugs may help but we are ttc no.2 and the fact that that is not happening is adding to the emotions. The only thing that will help is to win the lottery. I knew that when I started to work part time (in Border's) that I would find it hard to concentrate on Giggleicious and Brynn and a job and the the house and that is what has happened. I have no creative energy left. I have ceased to be able to work in the evenings and now only have 3 mornings a week where I can work and Brynn is at nursery. But because our tax credits have been cut I may have to pull her out of nursery for one of those mornings. I can't do it for more as she loves it too much.
We have exhausted the funds from both sets of parents so that's not an option. I can't tell them how I am feeling as they can do no more than be a shoulder to cry on and right now I don't want advice on how we can make things better because I feel so completely trapped.
We have £60 left for food / nappies / etc for the whole month, £200 has had to be put aside for Shawn driving test and lessons as the money our parents gave us for him to do it got sucked into over drafts etc when Brynn / Shawn were sick. He HAS to pass his driving test.. it would help me and help his prospects of getting out of a crap job. And £100 has been sucked into Giggleicious this month for craft fairs and Gazebo (for craft fairs) and materials.
I am sick of it. And to top it all of Brynn woke up at 4.30am and refused to go back to sleep and then head butted me and now I have a fat lip. It was the last straw.
So right now I feel like jacking in Giggleicious and going to work for Border's 4 nights a week and Sundays.
We still have to wait and see if tax credits up our money again when they get our final income for the last tax year but I am not holding my breath. We might be able to apply for hardship so we get the full amount again but I wouldn't hold my breath about that either. I am sure that as far as the government is concerned we can have enough money to eat but not actually have a life.
So that's me.
I am going to attempt to make a birthday pressie for Brynn now. and tidy my desks.
And also .. had to pimp something ... they are lovely greetings cards after all
Oh.. and PS - I know it could be 1000 times worse and I know I should look on the bright side. But that does not feed my family.
I know how this can be as we are going through rough times as well but we dont have a child so its less stressful and worrisome, I cant even imagine having to worry about a child too. I wish there was something I could do but I will definitely spread the word about Giggleicious. I dont have many friends with children but I will still get the word out there as im sure they may know others who do 
Take care and all the best to you hon!